Caring for someone at the end of their life

Because of the emotional strain that can come with providing this type of care, you may experience a range of feelings, including isolation, stress, resentment and fatigue. It's important to know you are not alone and these feelings are normal.

Looking after yourself is as critical as looking after the person you care for. That’s why it’s important to ask for help. Here you’ll find a range of information to support you in your caring role. 

Tips from other carers

As a carer, there may be times when you feel overwhelmed. It can be helpful to speak with other carers who are going through – or have been through – your situation. The tips below come from other carers.

Tips for supporting the person you care for:

• Make the room as comfortable as possible, with their favourite things nearby.
• Use touch as a form of comfort and to express feelings.
• Play their favourite music, podcast or audiobooks.
• Read to them – whether it’s a favourite book or poem or an interesting piece of news.
• Understand and support their end-of-life wishes.

Tips to help you cope with your emotions:

• Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.
• Remember that sometimes being there is all you need to do.
• Recognise when you need help and ask for it.
• Let relatives, friends, neighbours and volunteers help you when they offer.
• Share your anxiety or concerns with someone you trust.
• Allow yourself some short breaks.
• Plan ahead to make it easier to cope through difficult times.
• Do some form of exercise, even if it’s as simple as deep breathing.
• Write your feelings down.
• Allow yourself to cry; it can be very therapeutic.

Working with health professionals

When the person you care for approaches the end of life, they may find it difficult (or be unable) to communicate their needs and wishes. When this happens, you will be an important link between the person you care for and their health professionals.

Be sure to keep doctors and other health workers informed of:

• their allergies and reactions to food or medications
• how they might think or feel in certain situations
• their wishes for end-of-life care
• if they would prefer care at home
• their wishes about comfort, pain relief and treatment
• their cultural and spiritual preferences
• the nature and types of support needed.

Planning ahead

As a carer, it’s important to discuss future health care needs and wishes with the person you care for. This is called advance care planning.

This information will be helpful when the person you care for can no longer communicate their wishes or make decisions. The person you care for may also like to formalise their plan through an advance care directive.

The Department of Health, Disability and Ageing, CarerHelp and Carer Gateway websites have resources to help you navigate this period. You can find information on:

• talking about end-of-life care
• advance care planning
• advance care directives
• steps involved in planning for the end of life
• end-of-life caring.

What support is available? 

Caring for people from different communities  

Specific information to help care for people from different communities is available on the CarerHelp website.  

There are resources for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, for people who are LGBTI+, and there is information available in languages other than English.